Serensky's Worst Nightmare

Two o'clock has finally rolled around after six and a half long hours of school and we all are expecting it to be an ordinary day in English, so of course we are all rather surprised to see Ms. Serensky standing outside her room with a rather irritated look on her face. We cautiously enter the room terrified of what is in store when we find a rather confusing scene before us, our oh so lovely circle of desks has been replaced by one rather large curled table, almost as if someone had come in and attached the desks to make one ridiculously long table. However that is not the most odd thing which we observe, no the most peculiar change is that all of our ordinary seats have been replaced with big bouncy balls, like those exercise balls that come up half way up your waist. Even Ms. Serensky's chair has been replaced by a large blue bouncy ball. So of course everyone is staring unsure of what to do in this completely absurd situation. Naturally it takes Henry's built up irritation at having lost his precious desk to ask the question on everyones mind, "Where are our desks?" Ms. Serensky's explanation is almost as bizarre as the situation itself, apparently the administration has accepted a grant to experiment with the application of bouncy balls as seats in classes to see if students pay attention better in class with such a simple way to exercise our pent up energy, they also hope that doing so will slightly decrease child obesity rates. Naturally, our administration felt it would be smart to test it out on highschool students in difficult classes, after all it might improve our ap test scores. What follows is a problem of epic proportions. Not only do students continuously lose focus and lose their thoughts in discussions as they become more and more distracted by their new seats, but many of the students fall off them, of course this is humorous the first dozen or so times, but after everyone's favorite, Chris, falls and cracks his head open on the floor the red blood oozing from his head quickly soaks all the humor from the situation. As the administration watches paramedics rush in and their parking lot rapidly degenerate into a cluster of flashing lights they wonder, "what have we done?" Unfortunately having accepted the grant the balls can not be removed. Despite increased caution those flashing lights will enter our drive many more times before May rolls around. An entire class has entered the ER over a 2 month span due to head trama, and a few poor souls have been paralyzed. Before long a number of lawsuits have led all the ball producing corporations into bankruptcy and the world is finally free of these apparently dangerous menaces.

This disturbing story was inspired by Michaela Plante's Kindergarten Class which spent a day using bouncy balls for seats to experiment with the same idea above. No children were hurt in doing so however I am extremely concerned by the completely hypothetical possibility given above and feel such ideas should be prohibited.