Why Jack Went to Remedial English

I will never forget that absolutely horrible last day of AP English I experienced, it was that day alone that drove me into the remedial English class I attend today. As all bad days go, the class itself began on a sour note, I do not think I have ever entered a classroom so terrified as entering Ms. Serensky's domain with my backpack inside-out and without a single one of my English books. I sat down next to Dom and I whispered to him, the following dialogue ensued.
Me: Dom... I don't have any of my books. Someone stole them.
Dom: Well just tell her the truth...
Me: Dom, "the truth isn't quite the sort of thing one tells to a nice, sweet, refined girl" like Ms. Serensky. You must be mad (16)
Dom: Well then I suppose you will have to make something up then
Me: Damn... Uhh Ms. Serensky?
Ms. Serenksy: Yes Jack? Is there a reason you're interrupting my Blog Banter?
Dom: Bad move dude
Me: Well... It's just... I kind of left every single one of my English books in my locker...
Ms. Serensky: [Glaring] Well then go get them

As I left that classroom with my tail between my legs I had no idea what was in store. Of course no sooner had I entered the commons and started interrogating my classmates did I learn who had done it, and of course it was Chris, Mr. Popular, who had taken my books. It was just as I was entering the classroom that I realized... I was screwed, I'd been caught in my lie. So I walked in half terrified half furious and told Chris --You stole all my stuff and nugged my backpack? -- Chris just laughed, I died a little inside -- "You are hardly serious enough...One has to adopt  very high moral tone on all subjects... That, ... is the whole truth pure and simple" (6). However it was then that Serensky attacked -- Jack, this is the second time you have interrupted my Blog Banter, is there a reason that you feel that you are so much more important than everyone else? -- My tail went back between my legs -- It's not that  feel more important, Mrs. Serensky, you see "my backpack keeps getting nugged, its getting pretty bad" and Chris here stole all my books -- And here was the worst part, Ms. Serensky laughed and told Chris he was as funny as ever, not a hint of sarcasm. I sat down at my desk about ready to cry myself into tomorrow when I heard my phone began to blast. Ms. Serensky turned a shade of red I thought only existed in cartoons. I answered, listened to the message, and shrunk down into my seat as much as possible, but it was too late. Ms. Serensky attacked.
Ms. Serensky: Interrupting my Blog Banter again are we Jack? What was so important this time?
Me: It was about my brother...
Ms. Serenksy: Ahh I remember Ernest, he was so well behaved, not at all irritating or annoying like his younger brother. How is he?
Me: "Quite dead" (26)
Ms. Serensky: Dead?
Me: [Teary eyed] Yes, he died in a chemical fire this morning, at least according to the call I just received
Ms. Serensky: Well then, at least he still is not bothering anybody, still being up shown by your brother. Now get out of my classroom
Me: [Bawling] Yes Mam.


I never went back to that classroom, Indeed I do not think I ever shall...